I am bad at writing
Because English didn’t used to be my first language.
Because my GCSE teacher told me I will fail.
Because of patriarchy.
Because I am a woman and people aren’t really interested in what I have to say.
Because I can’t construct a convincing argument.
Because of my learning disability, and there being a medical explanation for why my mind struggles to form sentences and arrange things in a linear order.
Because I am a really indecisive person, and by nature of writing things down, I change my mind immediately and delete everything.
Because I am an artist, which comes with insecurities of being “original”, being different.
Because I am afraid to say something that somebody has already said, and doing a worse job of it.
Because I want to be told it’s good writing, it good opinion, it’s the correct opinion, it’s good language, it’s the best choice of words, it’s a topical subject matter.
Because the drafts I write are never good enough, so I redraft them.
Because the sentences I put down are never good enough, so I rewrite them.
Because the words I choose to describe something are never the right words, so I Thesaurus them.
Because writing means overthinking.
Because my relationship with writing is hard work
so I draw.
Because drawing has no orthographic, grammatical, punctuational or sequential rules.
Because drawing has no rules.
Because when I draw, I don’t feel like I’m cheating.
Because drawing transforms disability into opportunity.
Because drawing transforms verbal concerns into pre-verbal ones.
Because drawing is spatial, visceral, lived and experienced.
Because drawing is visual poetry.
Because drawings can be diagrams.
Because drawings can have letters.
Because drawing can be writing.